Waiting

My mother tried to teach me the virtue of patience. She did not succeed. I have many fine qualities; patience is not among them. I walk fast; I type fast; I drive fast (don’t tell on me). I want things done, not half done, not partly finished, not waiting till tomorrow. My husband, a prince of a fellow, can let things wait. “I’ll clean up. Just leave the roasting pan there,” he says. When I walk into the kitchen in the morning, there the pan sits congealing in all its glory. He’ll get to it, eventually. Me? I don’t operate that way. I’m too impatient.

When I was a kid, I hated waiting for the bus. I always carried a book with me and would read to distract myself from the boredom of waiting. I still carry a Kindle with me wherever I go, especially when I know there will be a wait. I do a lot of waiting these days. As kind and caring as the staff of the cancer center are, they can’t help shoo away my uneasiness and occasional fretfulness. That I must do for myself. I get that I’m hard to deal with and hard to live with too. I try. I really do.

My husband just ordered new patio furniture. He doesn’t mind that it will not arrive until May! Guess who does mind? Sorry, ma.

8 thoughts on “Waiting

  1. Thank you for writing how I feel. I am also impatient but post cancer I got better at it. I used to be impatient when a doctor would make me wait but now I am ok with it. I figure that maybe someone else is getting bad news they didn’t expect and they need more time. The roasting pan-well that’s another story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am a bit impatient, too. I don’t waiting and I don’t like being made to wait. I guess we all can’t have all the virtues. We need to have something in ourselves that we need to work on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Two! Good golly. I, too, must “carefully consider my next move.” Loved hearing your voice on that recording. I can relate.

      Like

  3. I can relate to much of this, especially the fast walking; I cannot bear to be slowed down in a crowd and will mentally map a route and whip my way through it. Almost obnoxiously, I fear. I might not be the best person to comment on waiting but as to the patio furniture – MAY?!! That seems excessively long! In regard to the cancer care – this waiting has got to be so mentally, spiritually, and therefore physically draining. Another post I read today mentioned cutting ourselves some slack – here I will say, even as you own impatience! All the waiting is a lot to endure; you have a mind that likes to be kept busy and the waiting is intruding. The Kindle – so wise.

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  4. I cannot imagine waiting through the treatment and everything else like you are, you are so brave (even when you feel you’re not!) I think most of us can relate to the impatience at different times, the roasting pan story sounds very familiar to me!

    Liked by 1 person

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